Yesterday, The Bulwark published an essay that Alexandra Hudson adapted from her new book, The Soul of Civility: Timeless Principles to Heal Society and Ourselves.
Below are the second through fourth paragraphs from the essay:
Civility is the stuff that makes a free society—especially a democracy—work. It promotes reasoned, tempered dialogue and interactions between citizens, a virtue of civility that is especially important for our lawmakers. Civility builds an active willingness to listen to others, to consider their point of view alongside our own, and to evaluate varying conceptions of “the good.” The civil citizen accepts that others have genuinely held moral positions, and that reasonable minds can disagree. Civility promotes basic decency while also taking certain modes of action off the table.
Meanwhile, a lack of civility leads to social dysfunction and decay. This is something of a paradox, though, as democracies pose a particular challenge to the imposition of tight social norms. Having a healthy respect for personal autonomy and individual freedom means that we must sometimes allow people the freedom not to follow social norms, too.
If we are to rebuild civility, there are important roles for both public leaders and citizens. Public leaders reflect what they think voters want. And citizens often mirror what their leaders do on social media, radio, and television. So public leaders must work to decrease partisanship and promote tolerance. Their conduct, their tone, and the ways they use their platform have effects that ripple through the broader society.
I hold these truths to be quite evident. They align with my long standing activity and advocacy, as vice chair of my local chapter of Braver Angels (the Colorado Southern Front Range Alliance), as president of the board of Transcendental Politics, and as a participant in numerous Facebook groups and the founder of one (Decent and Sensible Dialogue) that are dedicated to bridging divides.
In the essay, Hudson explained “eight ways we can each work to promote tolerance, reduce partisanship, and restore and reenergize civility.” Below are the initial sentences for the first seven and then the full entry for the last:
Remember that reasonable minds will disagree on important subjects.
Unbundle people.
When you get into a disagreement with a friend or family member, remember context—the entirety of the history and relationship you have with them.
Remember the transformative power of friendship.
Stay curious about the many reasons people come to their beliefs about the world.
Don’t publicly shame and abuse others—don’t exert power over them while they are defenseless.
Form friendships across difference, and then strive to be taught and formed by friendship.
Finally, remember the difference between civility and politeness. Politeness relates to the form, the technique, of an act. Civility is deeper; it speaks to the motivation behind our conduct that sees other persons as our moral equals and worthy of basic respect. True friendship requires civil truth-telling in love, not patronizing politeness.
Give the full essay a read. It is marvelous. Perhaps read the book, which I intend to do.
For now, though, follow along with me as I pivot on an element of that last point: truth-telling.
Hudson invokes the concept as a marker of true civility, superior to the telling of polite fictions or evasions that obstruct true understanding. This is really quite profound. I usually engage with the concept of truth-telling, and its opposite, in a more direct way.
Longtime readers of this newsletter are familiar with my knaves versus fools dichotomy. I define the terms as follows:
KNAVE: A person who knowingly spews nonsense in order to manipulate and/or propitiate fools.
FOOL: A person who earnestly believes the nonsense that knaves spew.
The 45th president and other leaders of his MAGA movement continuously, in the words of Steve Bannon, “flood the zone with shit” to advance their authoritarian project. The violence that such knaves inflict on our constitutional republic goes far beyond a breach of the norms of politeness and fair play.
And yet, the strengthening of civility and the valuing of good faith in society broadly may be the most potent defense against MAGA’s depredations. The coalition of the both decent and sensible – of all political leanings and none at all – must champion these values and promote a civil society that resists and defeats those who are intent on undermining it.
Years ago I took the Pro-Truth Pledge, which is an initiative of a nonprofit organization, Intentional Insights. Intentional Insights promotes the Pledge with the following injunction:
Take the Pro-Truth Pledge to encourage politicians – and everyone else – to commit to truth-oriented behaviors and protect facts and civility.
Below are the tenets of the Pledge. I urge you to navigate to the Pro-Truth Pledge website and commit to adopt them.
I Pledge My Earnest Efforts To:
Share truth
Verify: fact-check information to confirm it is true before accepting and sharing it
Balance: share the whole truth, even if some aspects do not support my opinion
Cite: share my sources so that others can verify my information
Clarify: distinguish between my opinion and the facts
Honor truth
Acknowledge: acknowledge when others share true information, even when we disagree otherwise
Reevaluate: reevaluate if my information is challenged, retract it if I cannot verify it
Defend: defend others when they come under attack for sharing true information, even when we disagree otherwise
Align: align my opinions and my actions with true information
Encourage truth
Fix: ask people to retract information that reliable sources have disproved even if they are my allies
Educate: compassionately inform those around me to stop using unreliable sources even if these sources support my opinion
Defer: recognize the opinions of experts as more likely to be accurate when the facts are disputed
Celebrate: celebrate those who retract incorrect statements and update their beliefs toward the truth